Sephora, I love you, but you’re bringing me down. I don’t have the hard cash to be throwing at you and your 36 dollar bronzers, eyelash primers, lip plumpers, and whatever the fuck else your beautiful playground has to offer. I can splurge on you, sure, but when it comes to everyday makeup, I need things to be a little more my budget. My budget is 99 cent Hot Cheetos and individual bottles of Bud Light Platinum at the bodega, just so you know. That’s why I love drugstores. The quality is still 10/10 if you know where to look. And I can put my money where it matters, in my bra and out to bars. Here’s my list of the 10 best drugstore products that you can find at any drugstore, Target, Kmart, etc. No speciality stores, here:
1. Maybelline Volum’ Express The Rocket Mascara (7.99) I used to swear by Great Lash, but not after I found this little baby girl. This stuff separates your lashes without giving them that horrifying Spider Snooki Clump Parade. The brush is workable around your lower lashes without sending you smearing it all over your face like Lady Gaga’s Appluase vid. It’s a pretty solid dupe for Benefit Great Lash, and here’s the thing: I like it BETTER. Plus the bottle is so bright you can actually find it in my hell pit of a room.
2. Maybelline Color Tattoo Metal In Barely Branded (5.99) Do you use eyelid primer? I did, when I got a tiny little sample of it once, until I realized it was 28 bucks and I’m not Leo DiCaprio in Wolf Of Wall Street. Then, this angel came along. It works exactly like Urban Decay’s Eyelid Primer in Sin, which every makeup Youtube on Guru sacrifices goats for. It’s shimmery and pretty and works well underneath other eyeshadows but still looks great alone. It’s a nice neutral white-ish beige, very Nature Fairy Queen. And no creases! No fuckin’ creases! I got no time for creases cuz once I’m out, I don’t look at mirrors.
3. Rimmel Scandal Eyes Kohl Eyeliner (3.99) I swear by this stuff, specifically the nude eyeliner. Put that shit on your waterline and you won’t look like you’ve been on a bender of white wine and House of Cards on Netflix till 4am the night before. It’s creamier than fucking Phish Food, applies like soft butter, and smudges really easily for a smoky eye look. Does tend to get in the crease of my eye if I do a cat eye with it, but schlep a little powder on that area and you’re good to go.
4. For Dark and Yellow-Toned Skin: The Maybelline FIT Me Shine Free Line (7-8.99) If you’re yellow-based like I am, olive-toned, or darker, this is the line for you. Every fuckin’ drugstore line tends to be more pink/pale based, and I always look sickly and Beth-like from Little Women. Not this stuff! This stuff is made of social justice warriors on Tumblr, cuz it doesn’t forget us minority types. I looorrvee the foundation stick when my skin is breaking out or oily, it has light coverage for daytime and mattifies very well. The cream foundation is great for heavier coverage and drier skin, as it doesn’t highlight the rough patches. Go at it, you Pocahontas Tiana Mulan Princesses!
5. For Pale and Pink-Toned Skin: CoverGirl Outlast Stay Fabulous 3-in-1 Foundation (8.99) Of course I wouldn’t forget you sweet little peach-faces! This line has better options for lighter skin, isn’t too heavy, blends very well, AND! It also has more coverage, ie why it calls itself a “3-1” deal. That means you covers your pimples and red marks and it doesn’t wear out halfway through the day. Don’t fear the mirror at 12am on a Saturday on Ladies Night. Look, you’ll look effin’ flawless and drunk girls will tell you you look like a baby doll on the bathroom line.
call me out on my bullshit without
In other words,
I want someone who
will know when to appreciate
the sarcasm and know when to wait
for the, “No, but what I really feel is this.”
I want someone who will be jaded with
Then, when we kiss that first time,
we can part like school kids
and I’ll write the most un-jaded poem
about his lips and he’ll write one too
or buy me flowers
or something equally as cliche.
I want someone who will
never say that I drink too much
coffee, even if I say it myself.
I don’t need someone
to call me beautiful when I
just woke up,
with no makeup on,
or whatever those black and
with cursive writing demand.
if I spend hours doing my hair
or dedicate fifteen minutes in the pursuit
then he better tell me I look stunning.
I know I do,
but he needs to know also.
I want someone who is
either terrified of confrontation
or good enough at it for the both
I want someone who writes, or
at least reads,
but doesn’t condemn popular culture
because no one is above binge watching
Toddlers in Tiaras or something
equally as terrifying.
And even after we’ve laid
ourselves naked to each other
in every possible way,
I want someone
who will always send a thrill up
my arm, when he grabs my hand."
Part of me just wants to cuddle with you until we fall asleep and part of me wants to make you moan until your lungs give out
Haha. My dad’s gonna make us go cause it was his favorite show back in the day.
well I’m glad SOMEONE will support them